About this blog...

On this blog you will find the rambling thoughts and images a boy like me finds on the web. It is responses to my dilemma and experience. It's not rude or crude or stereotypical. Just me, just trying to be free, just learning to be myself...

Monday, December 13, 2010

I see you

I look away when you come near,
I want to feel you come. 
A gentle air does gentle wave,
my skin begins to burn. 

You softly breathing I do hear, 
you are my only one. 
I try to be so very brave, 
My thoughts become undone. 

I feel your head bend down to me, 
a kiss upon my neck. 
My hands take on a life of their own, 
my fingers they do stretch. 

I stroke the arms that hold me so, 
I feel the warmth in you. 
Your deep brown eyes, they smile at me, 
I see the soul I knew.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Feel me

See me here,
feel me now.
Wish me luck,
don't know how.

I am such a lucky boy,
happy, loving, full of joy. 
Life for me is on the beach, 
my love entwined within my reach. 

Golden sands and lapping waves, 
the breathless sun, my hopes are brave. 
I live my life just how I please, 
the drooping clouds blown off by breeze.

See me now as ne'er before, 
I have my life... to explore.

So see me leave, 
see me go. 
When I return, 
please say hello.


Saturday, November 27, 2010

Drifting On

And in the sun, 
beside the sea, 
my thoughts drift on, 
from you to me. 
I wonder if 
one day we'll be, 
once again.

And in the dawn, 
a stifled yawn, 
I rise 
from nightly rest. 
A hand glides down 
from shoulder blade 
and slips 
across my chest. 

I know those fingers, 
I feel that touch, 
I kiss
the warmth 
in you. 
I always knew 
you would return, 
and we 
would be 
as two.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


I once saw a bird 
that sat in my tree. 

He sang me such songs, 
a sweet melody. 

He was put in a cage, 
which upset me; 

so I broke down the door 

and set that bird free.

Friday, November 19, 2010


Is it just me? Please set me free. I ache to get away. 

I feel constrained, so wholly reigned. I do so want to play. 

I swell with love, I bust with lust, I need to have my way. 

So set me free, and we shall see. It's time to run and play. 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

No Words

To know me well
is to know me more,
my words and charms
will never bore.
There is no chance
that I shall speak,
it's not because
I'm mild or meek.
For when you wait
for me to say,
my words they just
do go away.
My tounge swells up,
my teeth are clenched
and not one word
shall be wrenched.
It's not because
I can't so speak,
it is because
my words don't meet.

The selective mute,
he is so cute,
he listens very well.
But if you wait
for words to come,
time will never tell.

Saturday, November 13, 2010


I stood upon 
a white sand beach, 
I gazed at waves 
beyond my reach, 
I dreamed across
the ocean depth 

I waited for 
that very day, 
when I could take 
your hand and lay 
my head upon 
your chest 
once more. 

The simple things 
I like the most, 
the chance to hear 
your heart beat lost, 
My heart 
will once more 
be belonged. 

For you to me 
are everything, 
you make my soul 
begin to sing, 
together our love ... 
we will explore.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Who is he?

I am a crazy guy,
you see?
So deep and full 
of mystery. 
I like to hang 
and dance about. 
I like to scream 
and laugh and shout. 
But if you ask me 
what's inside.
My heart, my love, 
I try to hide. 
You only see 
the bouncing boy. 
So happy, 
full of joy. 
For if you saw 
my inner soul. 
All would be gone, 
all would be told. 
So best I keep 
myself to me. 
And keep you guessing, 
who is he?

And so it goes...

They come and go like fallen snow, 
   so light and soft to touch. 

You hardly notice them appear, 
   and miss them oh so much. 

The ones you loves, the ones you know 
   are here for now then gone. 

If only I had spent more time 
   so they would stay more long. 

So spare your tears and wipe your eyes 
   and wait for more to come. 

And pretty soon they reappear. 
   No friendship comes undone.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Steady Beating

A special look, not one mistook, you know what I am thinking. 
My pulse is raised, a steady beat, my heart is steady beating.

I feel the kindred of our souls, I'm glad of this meeting. 
So come on close, don't be morose, and give to me your greeting. 

So lift my hand, and take me up, and hold me in your arms. 
Whisper, smile, stroke, beguile, warm me with your charms.

I knew at once, when we first met, that we would be forever.
I had no doubt, that even without, our love would grow together. 

Just look at me, and can't you see, the love that we once knew?
I am your boy, you are my joy, our love just grew and grew.

~ ~ ~

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Can you see me?

Can you see me?
Am I cute?
I'm a boy 
of ill repute.

I will try 
most anything. 
Here's my number, 
make it ring.

Take a chance
and contact me.
I'll bare my soul 
and set you free.

Please don't wait
and mullify, 
'cause while you do...
I might die.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I am not a fool

You mean me? It couldn't be. I just got out of school. 

I will do, what I want. I'll break every rule. 

Sneer at me, I'll sneer right back. I'm so super cool.

Treat me right, or say goodbye. I am not a fool. 

~ ~ ~

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


I knew him well,
I love him still,
I don't know 
what to do. 

he disappeared, 
right out of the blue. 

I tried to see 
if I could ask, 
my messages 
hit a wall. 
My friend was gone, 
his lasting song, 
I feel so lost, 
... so small. 

I missed my chance 
to reach him back, 
gone before I tried. 
His parting words 
did confuse me so, 
my heart has partly died. 

So please come back, 
our loving friend. 
Let not this be the end. 

There's nothing done, 
our friendship can't, 

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Sun, the moon, the earth, the sea ...

He is the sun...
... I am his moon. 

A golden ball...
... a silver spoon. 

A love not lost ...
... it came so soon. 

My heart is healed... 
... within there's room. 

So take my hand
and laugh with me.

You are the earth ... 
... I am your sea. 


Friday, October 22, 2010

My love

As summer goes, who really knows?

.... life just keeps getting better

I live my life, free of strife,

I am a life 'go getter'.

I dream of boys and summer joys,

my life it hold no bounds

I sweat under, the spring summer

and yearn for lovers sounds.

A pebble beach, beyond my reach,

I miss that last hand hold.

The last we kissed, that day I miss

I will, one day, be whole.

I miss you so very, very much.
You are my other half.
Without you I can not laugh.
F*ck this, marry me.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


You only get 
a glimpse
of me, 
the world stands by 
and waits to see. 
More there is 
but not on show, 
I told you what 
there is to know. 
For if I shared 
'all of me',
there would be 
no 'mystery'. 
And what 
you really 
thought of me,
would all 
be gone,
empty dream.

But suddenly 
I'm back 
to peek
there's more 
to see, 
more to seek. 

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Playing around

so fast 
my pants 
fell down. 
I was 
and all, 
my soul 
to bare.

Forgive me

I stood and gazed 
on time gone by, 
the time we stood, 
both side by side.
Nothing of 
our past to hide, 
we tested love 
and really tried. 

As summer set 
and time slid by, 
our time was up, 
an autumn sigh. 
And so it's time 
to say goodbye. 
Adieu my friend, 
I step aside.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I've been thinking...


I was thinking of you, thinking of me.

Thinking about, what could have been. 

Thinking that life, is not all it seems. 

Thinking of thoughts, that lie within me.

Thoughts they do wander, making a scene. 

Drifting so slowly, as if in a dream. 

Nothing in life, is quite what it seems, 

I'm thinking of you, thinking of me.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

A dream like state of mind ...

Tait Hughes Geijer - BMG Models LA
I am not, who you want me to be, 
I am only me, you see? 
I am not, in a dream 
and more real, or so it seems. 

So please just let me be me. 

I share with those, that I like, 
a little more, of my life. 
But please, I do implore, 
please don't ask for any more, 

I feel carved up with a knife. 

I put my feelings, out on show, 
but only with those I know.
Will I ever lay bare, 
the things I guard fair?

Or let you into my life?

So please understand, 
As I turn into a man.  
I need to hold back 
and cover the cracks;

or be undone ... and disband.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

A boy in a tree..

River Delphi Viiperi ~ WOOF!
I saw a boy, 
up in a tree. 
I wondered if 
that boy was me. 
The way he smiled, 
and just beguiled. 
I knew he knew, 
the inner me. 
His smile lit up, 
my inner heart. 
A smile that I 
could tell apart. 
That smile was mine 
and mine for him. 
I knew that boy, 
from within.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Wake Up!

Tired, asleep but not alone. 
You shared my life and I have grown.  
Beneath the covers we shared our life...
Dude! Wake up! And be my wife!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

A taste of me...

They all want a taste of me, 
even tho there's one of me. 
Taste by taste I really start to fear.

Slowly as they grab at me, 
piece by piece, I'm losing me. 
What they want they just so slightly tear.

I am just... only one, 
gently as I come undone, 
none of me, soon, will appear. 

Just say hello and do not tie, 
gently as you come on by, 
let me breathe or see me disappear.

Do not judge or criticise, 
hold your views behind your eyes, 
smile softly as you pass me by. 

Caught within this new found art, 
slowly taken, part by part, 
Now I know why others try and hide.


"I'm not a label, I'm just me, 
and I don't owe the world an explanation."


Oh My!

I just had the shock of my life. To post a comment in YouTube I had to type in one of those words. This was it:

I'll leave any interpretation up to you, haha.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Gentle friends

You meet them 
or twice,
you know.
new found 
they come 
and go. 

You wonder 
their light 
did glow... 
new found 
where did 

So suddenly 
they disappear. 
You wonder if 
they're ever there. 
Their light 
so sudden, 
sweet and brief, 
their gentle parting 
without grief.

Where did they go?

Sunday, September 5, 2010

The Look

There is a look, 
a secret glance, 
the gay male stare. 
Not in a book, 
not made by chance, 
the soul is laid quite bare. 

The hunger shows, 
the body aches, 
the desire is left aloof. 
The receiver knows, 
feelings wake, 
lust is set loose.

I see the signs, 
I respond in kind, 
I set my passion free.
So if you find, 
you have the time, 
Send that look to me.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

18 - Boy Soldier

Click pic for story of boy soldier
Eighteen is such a funny age, 
you leave your youth, the adult stage. 
For now I can stand up as me, 
I am grown up, let me be. 

But do I want to be set free? 
The scary responsibility? 
The broken opportunity? 
To be alone, to just be me? 

No give me back my feathered nest 
and let me grow, to be my best. 
Just gentle steps, do forward go 
supported by, the love I know.

Don't Act Dumb

Am I smart 
or am I dumb? 
With idiots 
I play along. 
If they talk... 
their written style 
I do meet. 
If they show 
they are smart,
I use my words 
as I do art. 
I like to show 
that I care
and take the time 
to write; 
But do not take me 
for a fool, 
I love to learn, 
in my school, 
of worldly life
and heartfelt thoughts, 
my mind, 
my style 
are all 

Friday, September 3, 2010


By chance alone did we meet, 
his soul exposed, laid bare, replete. 
This boy did give himself to us, 
his heart, his soul, his gentle trust. 
He cared enough to share his life, 
his mortal coil, his endless strife. 
He was for us the same as we. 
I miss him more than I miss me.

We miss you Derek

The Shallow Man

The shallow man he stands side on, 
he disappears and then he's gone. 
His false facade and gentle lies, 
come to me as no surprise. 
His thin veneer is so see through, 
his awkward smile is one I knew. 
He thinks the web he spins does shine 
and all the time we know he's lying. 
With painted spots and silver stripes 
he tries to dazzle with delight. 
But comes the morn' and golden sun, 
his lies, his tales, 
they come undone.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The End of the World

There are those who try to bring you down, 
safe beside, as they sit on the ground. 
They hate to see you float carefree, 
the love you share they destroy with glee. 
As you rise above and seem so light, 
it gives their souls an enormous fright,
for what if you, not they, are right,
their world of hate 
would end this night.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Singing with Frogs

I say what. What?
What. What?
What. Whaddya say?

I say what. What?
What. What?
What. Whaddya say?

I say what. What?
What. What?
What. Whaddya say?

I say what are you saying?
What do you say?

I say what. What?
What. What?
No, what do you say?

I say what. What?
What. What?
What do you say?

I say what. What?
What. What?
No, what are you saying?
What do you say?


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

To Surf

Dedicated to Leif

A simple love, 
the sky above, 
a board 
my feet. 
I spend 
the day, 
all at sea, 
the salt 
that burns 
my cheeks. 
The steady throb, 
an endless tide, 
my hopes 
and dreams 
do soar. 
The sea, 
the sun, 
the salt, 
the surf... 
just me 
the board.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

A simple love..

I am still yet,
a simple boy. 
A simple view,
and simple joys. 
I put away 
all childish toys. 
My life is one,
just to enjoy. 
And then I found ,
my first born love. 
My empty soul,
it rose above. 
And in that time,
I did find 
a very... simple... love. 

If I could be...

If I could be 
so carefree 
as to live 
my fear. 
Then I would be,
wandering free?
The Kodiak 
His mighty frame
is held 
in awe. 
His golden coat..
his challenged
If I could be 
but me. 


Bouncing up.
Bouncing down.
Bouncing wild.
Bouncing round.

Look at me 
the bouncing boy.
Happy, lucky, 
bouncing joy.

All the time 
I've been so still.
Should have been 
bouncing 'til..
all the world 
was bouncing free. 
Bouncing round,
bouncing me.

Friday, August 20, 2010

There was a boy

There was a boy
no one adored,
we only chanced
to see him more.
His golden hair
did softly shine,
his sparkling eyes
did spark, divine.
His lips did move
without a sound,
his smile downcast
as he looked around.
He looked about,
a distant gaze,
he wasn't really here,
a haze.
You saw the shell,
his arms afold.
An inner secret,
never told.
This boy was brighter
than the sun,
his hopes,
his dreams,
his love undone.
Trapped within
a cloistered cell,
his family life
a living hell.
He only hoped
to one day leave,
he didn't speak,
he barely breathed.

Judge me not

IF I was gay, would I be queer? 
My rough and tumble disappear?
Would I then have to act this way?
So soft and silken smooth, to sway?

I fear that type is just not me, 
I am a boy and tough you see. 
I do not act in any way,
I play my sport and I do play 
at being me 
and nothing else.
So judge me not, 

or judge 


The only thing...

The only thing that lets you know you are alive..., is pain

The only thing that makes life worth living..., is love

The only thing that lets you recover from lost love..., is hope

The only thing that mellows a broken heart..., is time

The only thing that carries us forward..., are friends

I love you my friend

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Kite

You are the wind, 
that makes me fly.
I am the kite 
that flies on high.
You are the blue 
of the evening sky.
You spin my world 
a funny guy.
When I'm alone 
I want to cry. 
I think of you 
as time goes by. 
Somehow I hope 
my love will tie, 
you here, 
my heart,
I die.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I love your pants

I like your hair, 
it looks a mess,
I don't really care, 
I must confess.

I like your shoes, 
they look so street, 
I would not choose, 
it's kinda neat.

Most of all, 
I love your pants. 
I'd whip them away, 
given half a chance.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Be Me

I love you and miss you dude,   :D
Who else would I be? 
Who else could I be? 
Who else should I be? 
I should be me.

What else would be me?
What else could be me?
What else should be me?
I should be free.

How else would I be free?
How else could I be free?
How else should I be free?

If I be me, 

... then I am free.

Be proud, be free, be me