About this blog...

On this blog you will find the rambling thoughts and images a boy like me finds on the web. It is responses to my dilemma and experience. It's not rude or crude or stereotypical. Just me, just trying to be free, just learning to be myself...

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I've been thinking...


I was thinking of you, thinking of me.

Thinking about, what could have been. 

Thinking that life, is not all it seems. 

Thinking of thoughts, that lie within me.

Thoughts they do wander, making a scene. 

Drifting so slowly, as if in a dream. 

Nothing in life, is quite what it seems, 

I'm thinking of you, thinking of me.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

A dream like state of mind ...

Tait Hughes Geijer - BMG Models LA
I am not, who you want me to be, 
I am only me, you see? 
I am not, in a dream 
and more real, or so it seems. 

So please just let me be me. 

I share with those, that I like, 
a little more, of my life. 
But please, I do implore, 
please don't ask for any more, 

I feel carved up with a knife. 

I put my feelings, out on show, 
but only with those I know.
Will I ever lay bare, 
the things I guard fair?

Or let you into my life?

So please understand, 
As I turn into a man.  
I need to hold back 
and cover the cracks;

or be undone ... and disband.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

A boy in a tree..

River Delphi Viiperi ~ WOOF!
I saw a boy, 
up in a tree. 
I wondered if 
that boy was me. 
The way he smiled, 
and just beguiled. 
I knew he knew, 
the inner me. 
His smile lit up, 
my inner heart. 
A smile that I 
could tell apart. 
That smile was mine 
and mine for him. 
I knew that boy, 
from within.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Wake Up!

Tired, asleep but not alone. 
You shared my life and I have grown.  
Beneath the covers we shared our life...
Dude! Wake up! And be my wife!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

A taste of me...

They all want a taste of me, 
even tho there's one of me. 
Taste by taste I really start to fear.

Slowly as they grab at me, 
piece by piece, I'm losing me. 
What they want they just so slightly tear.

I am just... only one, 
gently as I come undone, 
none of me, soon, will appear. 

Just say hello and do not tie, 
gently as you come on by, 
let me breathe or see me disappear.

Do not judge or criticise, 
hold your views behind your eyes, 
smile softly as you pass me by. 

Caught within this new found art, 
slowly taken, part by part, 
Now I know why others try and hide.


"I'm not a label, I'm just me, 
and I don't owe the world an explanation."


Oh My!

I just had the shock of my life. To post a comment in YouTube I had to type in one of those words. This was it:

I'll leave any interpretation up to you, haha.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Gentle friends

You meet them 
or twice,
you know.
new found 
they come 
and go. 

You wonder 
their light 
did glow... 
new found 
where did 

So suddenly 
they disappear. 
You wonder if 
they're ever there. 
Their light 
so sudden, 
sweet and brief, 
their gentle parting 
without grief.

Where did they go?

Sunday, September 5, 2010

The Look

There is a look, 
a secret glance, 
the gay male stare. 
Not in a book, 
not made by chance, 
the soul is laid quite bare. 

The hunger shows, 
the body aches, 
the desire is left aloof. 
The receiver knows, 
feelings wake, 
lust is set loose.

I see the signs, 
I respond in kind, 
I set my passion free.
So if you find, 
you have the time, 
Send that look to me.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

18 - Boy Soldier

Click pic for story of boy soldier
Eighteen is such a funny age, 
you leave your youth, the adult stage. 
For now I can stand up as me, 
I am grown up, let me be. 

But do I want to be set free? 
The scary responsibility? 
The broken opportunity? 
To be alone, to just be me? 

No give me back my feathered nest 
and let me grow, to be my best. 
Just gentle steps, do forward go 
supported by, the love I know.

Don't Act Dumb

Am I smart 
or am I dumb? 
With idiots 
I play along. 
If they talk... 
their written style 
I do meet. 
If they show 
they are smart,
I use my words 
as I do art. 
I like to show 
that I care
and take the time 
to write; 
But do not take me 
for a fool, 
I love to learn, 
in my school, 
of worldly life
and heartfelt thoughts, 
my mind, 
my style 
are all 

Friday, September 3, 2010


By chance alone did we meet, 
his soul exposed, laid bare, replete. 
This boy did give himself to us, 
his heart, his soul, his gentle trust. 
He cared enough to share his life, 
his mortal coil, his endless strife. 
He was for us the same as we. 
I miss him more than I miss me.

We miss you Derek

The Shallow Man

The shallow man he stands side on, 
he disappears and then he's gone. 
His false facade and gentle lies, 
come to me as no surprise. 
His thin veneer is so see through, 
his awkward smile is one I knew. 
He thinks the web he spins does shine 
and all the time we know he's lying. 
With painted spots and silver stripes 
he tries to dazzle with delight. 
But comes the morn' and golden sun, 
his lies, his tales, 
they come undone.