All I want

I look away when I feel you watching,
a dream state enters my being.
Your thoughts pervade my soul
and I feel exposed.
Your thoughts are seeking.
I know what you are thinking.

All I want to do is hide.
Not get close.
I feel so betrayed by my being.
Scared thoughts thrive,
I hope you don't believe I am here.
I'm not!
I'm running scared.

All I want is to say hello,
to chat once in a while,
to know
that I am not alone.
Please don't ask too much of me,
I can't handle this pressure
I'm not who you think I am,
I am small and unreal.

I write well,
talk smart
and lack the ability to do anything.
My inexperience drowns me.
I am just one boy,
being.
I am learning so much,
fearing so much more.
Give me space,
give me time,
I ask for no more.

All I want is understanding.

~ Marcus

(this poem reflects a change of style as I try and escape the web I have created on the internet. I had no idea it would be like this. With so many people needing so much from me. I don't understand. I'm just a boy, growing, wanting, to be a man.)